A nice two days with my Mom were had this week. She and her oldest sister, visiting from several states away, met me at the water park in my hometown.
This is the same park that HUD worked at for so many years. Also, my best friend in high school, was a lifeguard there as well. I did not go to the Park very often, because I was always working; plus, any free time I had, I used to catch up on my sleep! For, when I was working in radio, the last thing I wanted to do was spend time in the town where I am finally proud from which to hail! Mom, my Aunt, and I spent the entire day together at the water park, Tuesday.
My Aunt had a good time; she was riding ALL of the water slides. Wanting to not have my Aunt wait in line and go alone; I, too, rode on each slide-multiple times! If my Aunt had not been there; I would have NEVER ridden the water slides so many different times. Like my mother, I would have contentedly float on something in the HUGE pool.
My Aunt said: “We are going to get your Mom to ride slides with us in a bit.” I retorted something akin to; “Mom likes to float in the pool; she’s not gonna come ride slides with us.” My Aunt heard me, but she was not going to give up without a fight.
The park features a huge pool, water slides, a picnic area, plus pavilions and grills.
views of the gigantic pool
After my Aunt and I had ridden a particularly slow-moving slide, she said to me, “Your mom would like this,” while I gave her a look of disagreement; she said, “let’s go get her.” Begrudgingly, I accompanied my Aunt to fetch my mom, still convinced that Mom was NOT going to willingly leave her float so she could ride slides with us. My Aunt’s ability to simply request ONE TIME that her youngest sister ride slides with us; amazed me, when my mother did not even try to get out of it, and succumbed to her sister’s request so easily.
I recall thinking that this is how it must have been while the two were growing up…my Aunt asserting her wishes, not at all violently, with her having 6-7 years seniority on the youngest child of five others (my Mom). My Aunt didn’t need to assert her seniority to remind her little red headed sister, when the two were children, so, Aunt “Minkie” still need not remind my mother of her seniority. My mom has always respected and admired her oldest sister.
The three of us rode the slowest slides; my Aunt and I discovered that, depending on the side of the mat you sat; the speed in which you accelerated was affected. Mom also willingly rode the slower slides…
Mom did not want to ride “The Sidewinder,” and we did not push her to do so. My Aunt Minkie has always been a “daredevil,” according to Mom. I actually rode this slide four separate times! I rode just one time with HUD the year before.
The three of us enjoyed our day…we had a waffle cone from the concession stand, when we sat down at one of the picnic tables to rest. We even went to the kiddie side of the pool and allowed the water that fills buckets, fall onto us…
Aunt Minkie drove to where my grandmother is staying at the nursing home/rehabilitation center, and Mom came to HUD’s and my house to stay overnight. Mom was happy because she was able to spend time with her “grandchildren,” Mr. Whiskey and Princess Coco. HUD bought dinner for us, and after dinner; the three of us sat outside on the front porch and drank a bit.
The next morning, Mom and I got into the pool that HUD purchased not for the pups (LOL) with the dogs. HUD stayed home that day, but he allowed Mom and I some quality time together before I drove her back home that evening. HUD even said to Mom, “Come back and spend a few days; on a weekend. That surprised me, because he is very protective of his weekend times. When he said that, it proved to me that what he claims about “loving (my) Mom” is indeed, true. He told me that he was happy Mom was able to relax and enjoy herself…
I was happy to have my Mommy stay with us. She had only spent the night with me on two nights while HUD was out-of-town. That was around one year ago! HUD knows just how much I have been missing my Mommy and needing to have her stay with me. Mom is always busy because she is taking care of my grandparents home, BOTH of my grandparents, and also her older brother. My Uncle helps her, but not nearly enough…so, Mom was very relaxed while staying at our house. Mom told me that she liked how I had decorated our home…and she was impressed with how great mine and Jamie’s bedroom turned out! That made me feel great.
All and all, it was an excellent middle of the week!
As I had not been to our local park in 20+ years; I was expecting things to have changed for the better. Of course, nothing has changed much…there is not even a walking track (like I expected). So, we walked around the T-ball field (that is ‘new’), and in the stands of two of the baseball fields.
“Damn, I used to love this view
Sit here and drink a few
Main street and the high school lit up on Friday night
Down there it’s another touchdown
Man, this year’s team is stout
I can hear them goin’ crazy
And up here so am I
Thinkin’ about you sittin’ there sayin’ I hate this, I hate it
If you couldn’t stand livin’ here why’d you take it, take it
Give me back my hometown
‘Cause this is my hometown
All the colors of my youth
The red, the green, the hope, the truth
Are beatin’ me black and blue ’cause you’re in every scene
My friends try to cheer me up get together at the Pizza Hut
I didn’t have the heart to tell them that was our place
These sleepy streetlights on every sidewalk side street
Shed a light on everything that used to be
Give me back my hometown
‘Cause this is my hometown
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
Ah ooh, yeah, yeah
You can have my grandma’s locket
The knife out of my grandpa’s pocket
Yeah my state champion jacket I don’t care you can have it
Every made memory every picture, every broken dream
Yeah everything, everything, everything
Give me back my hometown
‘Cause this is my hometown…”
Okay, I am not a comic book “nerd;” albeit, I am in love with a self-proclaimed one. Since he and I have been a couple…I have watched several Marvel films. My favorites are ‘The Avengers’…I love Hawkeye, The Hulk, Thor, and of course Iron Man.
When I was a kid, I recall wearing Wonder Woman (from DC Comics) Under roos; I adored her. While watching the newest DC Comics film, ‘ Batman v Superman ‘ yesterday…I perked up in my seat as soon as WW came back on screen–I was so excited! When I say “perked up,” oh how I do mean, “perked up.” I was becoming quite bored with the movie.
For, the film itself was a bit drawn-out on camera for my taste; I had resigned myself to being okay with the fact that I was going to have to nap in the movie theater seat for HUD seemed to not really be enjoying the movie, but, he wanted to see what happened (that is simply what I thought…he says he thinks the movie was good. But, I’ve seen his eyes light up in Marvel films, and the excitement come out with the way his physical reactions are. This is why I don’t believe that he loved this DC Comics movie).
I am not really a comic fan, in that I’ve never read any of the comics. I feel that watching Marvel movies has dulled my senses to action or anything of that nature. Comedic quips, for one, were not to be given (thank God for “Marvel’s, “‘Tony Stark’ and ‘Captain America’ for making us laugh, either on purpose or not).
From a movie maker’s stand-point; I feel that the writing was too much. As in, the writer’s were unable to decide on what scenario’s to include in the film…so, they just found a way to put all of the dreamed up scenario’s into the movie. Eh. I truly believe the movie was worthy of a scholastic grade of “C -“…
For a friend who was in many of my broadcast communication classes in college, Nathan; because I am not a reader of the comics, and did not ‘catch on’ to things like I would have had I been a fan of the comic books, I feel that that is why I do not feel that the movie is good.
For another friend who was in many of my broadcast communication classes in college, Steven–Because I am not a reader of the comics; maybe that is why I do not feel that the movie is good, in that I did not have the pure love for the characters already in my heart. However, even if I would have the love for DC characters; I feel that the film was too drawn out, and the writing was horrible. I liked Amy Adams and the guy who plays the Villain…but, I still think that was overdone as well. I am looking at it from a “writer’s view,” I suppose.
And, thank you, to our television production teacher at the University, Dr. McGrail–I’m ALWAYS finding the tiniest flubs with video editing…that has made my ability to enjoy a movie one that is quite difficult!
Yesterday, when I finally decided to get my butt out of the bed to start my day; it was after 10:00 AM. Gratefully, HUD understands my need for sleep and he does not fault me for it. My brain becomes a lot more TIRED, and less able to handle “simple” tasks in the same manner most other folks brains’ are. When I am mentally tired; it causes me to become physically tired…SLEEP is the only way for me to handle many everyday tasks.
So, after I got out of bed around 10AM; I went to the restroom,l. Afterwards, I immediately let the Princess and Mr. Whiskey outside of the back door, so that they could do their business first thing in the morning.
It was a little chilly outside, so I stood in the kitchen and watched the pups for a moment before going to get a ‘Greenie’ out of the container farthest from the door. The screen door had yet to firmly close, so when the pups were finished; they both trotted inside and looked at me with pleading eyes, as if to say, “We went to potty outside, Mommy; can we have our ‘Greenie,’ now?
Prepared for this moment, I had already taken two treats from the jar and hid them in my hands. Normally, I will pet the baby’s and commend them on a job well done before giving them their morning treat. This Tuesday morning, I failed to do that. Instead of patting their little heads and rubbing their chests prior to giving them the thing they look forward to most every morning; I barely looked at either of them, and I quickly patted them on the head as I gave them a morning treat.
Mr. Whiskey always takes his treats to the adjacent room and eats the treat on the rug in front of the door that leads to the basement; the Princess Coco goes the opposite direction, and enjoys her treat on their “puppy bed” in the family dining room. I continued doing whatever it was that I was doing (I really do not recall what that was…read on, and you will understand that my feelings do not allow me to be able to recall such trivial things); I heard the pups gnawing on their treats…then, I realized how distant I had been with my baby’s, and decided I should show the two of them love.
I proceeded to call for Princess Coco and Mr. Whiskey…Coco appeared from the puppy bed in the kitchen, with her tail wagging. I happily accepted her into my arms rubbed her precious little head, continuing to pet the rest of her body. I called for her brother; normally, I can hear when one of the dogs is moving because the tags attached to their collars jingle. HUD and I had taken off their collars, because Mr. Whiskey’s skin at the base of his neck is seemingly becoming agitated with the rubber (glow-in-the-dark) piece that I have covering his ID tag. So, we decided to take off both of the pups collar’s to test this theory.
That beautiful Tuesday morning, I was annoyed with myself for failing to “re-dress” Coco and Whiskey before releasing them from the inside of the house so they could go potty. I walked through our home and called for Whiskey; Coco would simply look at me with pure innocence in her eyes/on her face. I did not hear any thing that typically alerts me to Whiskey’s whereabouts…so, I re-traced my steps, and called for him again.
Still, nothing. The Princess was following me around, and I would show her by that I adore her by petting her head and vocalizing that I loved her. I continued to call for Mr. Whiskey, to no avail! This is when I started getting more serious with my tone of voice; he usually responds almost instantaneously if I make my tone sound more harsh than it already does due to my speech impediment. I even asked Coco where her brother was…
I then began to doubt myself…I wondered if I had let Whiskey back go outside, but completely forgot about doing so when I closed the doors. Coco kept looking up at me, because she was able to sense that something was wrong. I walked through our house, again…only this time, I left the doors open to all of the rooms where the doors were originally closed. I thought that maybe Mr. Whiskey had wandered into one of the rooms; but what was mind-boggling is that he did not exit a room when I called for him. He always does that or he is very good about at least making some sort of racket to let me know where he is.
By this time (approximately 7 minutes), I was beginning to worry…I quickly talked myself out of that worrisome thought process, and realized that Whiskey was just hiding somewhere, and that I would find him soon. Princess Coco was at my feet, looking at me, and wagging her tail happily. I thought, “Okay, if Coco isn’t worried…maybe I should not be either.” I thought that because dogs have special senses. If something were wrong with Whiskey, I had no doubt that Coco would sense it.
I walked outside onto our back deck, and called for Whiskey. He did not come, so as I went into the house; I left the screen door ajar so he would be able to come back inside when he was ready. From the back of the house, I continued to walk toward the front of our home, and onto our front porch where I continued calling for Whiskey. I still received absolutely no sign of his whereabouts…I began to worry again.
Walking back outside on the back deck, Princess Coco followed me…I stood outside on our deck and called for Whiskey. Coco was trying to leave the back deck and go out into the yard…I promptly told her to “get into the house” because I could not be sans TWO baby’s! My quest to locate Mr. Whiskey continued as I more thoroughly searched the nooks and crannies of the inside of our home. I even started looking in closets and beneath beds.
As I was making my journey through the house, I kept beating myself up for losing him. I began thinking about how my Mom and Jeff were going to be disappointed that I lost my son by “misplacing” him. I was considering our friend, Monica’s take on the ordeal, and how she would be sympathetic, my thoughts roamed to my friends, Lori, Justin, Dustin, and Desi and how I was certain they would forgive my lack of brain, too.
Then the thought of my best friend in high school, Kristina, popped into my head because “Please forgive my lack of brain” is something that Winnie-The-Pooh says…I started thinking of the stupid doctors releasing me and how idiotic they would feel because I HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE; I should not be entrusted to the care of pets…OR humans, for that matter.
I thought of how HUD would not understand the magnitude of my being able to care for another living thing, but he would try his best to comfort me as opposed to getting angry with me. I then began to wish that he loved Whiskey the way he loves Coco; maybe then he would understand my probability of losing my mind if Mr. Whiskey were to disappear. I finally decided to let HUD know that I had lost our son, AGAIN. I attempted to call him, but because he was at work, the line was busy.
All of these thoughts are racing through my (injured) brain, as I am systematically moving from the inside of our home, to the back porch, to the front porch…and I am PLEADING with Whiskey to “please come home now!” I kept picking up Princess Coco and loving her as she continually tried to go outside and to the right of the exit off of our back deck. I kept forcing her to go back indoors, and she would look at me with a “but…MOM” gaze.
I started thinking of how distraught Coco would be when she realized her brother was missing. Being the negative person I am, I began to prepare myself for dealing with losing her, too…because she would definitely die (it is common with animals as well as people) if Whiskey were ever gone. This is when I text HUD that I had lost Whiskey…again. I sent him a text at 10:16…”I lost Whiskey.” Five minutes later, HUD sent me a question mark.
Finally, I decided that Mr. Whiskey may hear me jingle the treats in their treat container, and perhaps THAT would cause his return. So, I picked up one of the containers that has treats in it, and walked out onto our back deck. I’m pretty sure I made Coco stay inside, and as I retreated the dining room and began walking on the back deck; I was shaking the container of treats in hopes that Mr. Whiskey would hear it and come running.
No sooner than I had walked to the end of the deck, and about to step onto the stairs…I turned my head to the right, and I saw Whiskey running toward me with a “smile” on his face and his tongue hanging out as he was wagging his tail.
My heart suddenly felt so much lighter and the knot in my stomach had that was clenched, finally unraveled.
What felt like 45 minutes, was probably 15 minutes…but, I responded to HUD’s text message, 3 minutes after he sent me a text with a “?;”saying that Whiskey FINALLY came home. HUD called me and I explained the whole ordeal…and how scared I was. I did not know what I expected him to do from an hour away when I sent him the initial text…but I said I felt that he deserved to know I had lost our son-AGAIN.
Princess Coco had been TRYING to tell me where her brother was when she was trying to walk off of the deck and to the right…but, I would not “listen;” instead I kept instructing Coco to get back indoors. I am a wonderful Mommy to my ‘kids’… that is, when I do not lose them.
Yesterday was Easter Sunday; I was given two Easter baskets. Albeit, I have to SHARE the basket that Mom made for “me” with my “husband,” because she put our things into a single basket. He and I both grew up as only children…amazingly, I don’t mind sharing with him.
I spent the day at my Nana’s. My partner followed, and went home early so he could do some work for his company. When the pups and I went back home later in the evening; I was pleased to see that my love had also been working in the yard. He tells me that he is cleaning up our yard, so I will have a nicer place to call ‘home.’ That makes me feel nice, because before I moved in about one year ago, he didn’t care about keeping the yard looking nice.
My grandparents, mom, her 2 older brothers and my uncle’s new wife were at our family gathering as well. I invited my “in-laws;” they were not able to attend because ‘Dad’ is still recovering from having surgery on his eye. At Nana’s, we had a yummy lunch prepared by my Uncles and Mom. It is a little sad that the rest of the family does not even call my aging/in poor health Nana on holidays. Nana’s other two daughters, 2 grandchildren, 6 great-grandchildren, and one grandchild and spouse; I understand the families all have their own family, but it upsets me that they have each seemingly forgotten that their grandmother exists! I realize the majority of them are living far away…but they should call her or FT me so they can see her! It was a good day, nonetheless.
Our friend visited our house that night. It was nice to have her over, again; she stayed for around 3 hours…HUD told me to take Mr. Whiskey to the vet and have the small rash on his neck looked at, and also have our Vet look at the Princess Coco to make sure her skin is okay. HUD is so cute about the ways in which he worries about the baby’s!
When I spoke to HUD earlier, he inquired about the rash on Mr. Whiskey appearing better or worse. I am more liable to believe that he does, in fact, love Mr. Whiskey and it is merely a different way than he loves Princess Coco. I get offended/”mad” that he seemingly treats the Princess with more love and care…I finally understand what he has been telling me for over one year–he honestly does love Whiskey, but in a “different way.” This morning, I had also been searching for an outside play pen for the pups to put in the yard over the summer, so the pups can play outside, until we get our fence built…I sent the link to HUD, and he said something about purchasing a larger one than a $60-70 one I found online…I said I would love to do that; HUD told me he would help me search for one when he got home this evening. The pups have also stolen his heart…*sigh*
Sure, I deserve to be able to “make excuses” for not wishing to follow through with my plans–I don’t plan on being “too tired” to do something. I have issues…people fail to understand that about me, many times. It is probably because I “look fine” on the outside. Plus, I always made it a point to let others know that I may be a bit different in the way I speak, move, and recall things; but, I am still ME. I did not want to be given special privileges because I am brain damaged. Eventually, people began to not give me “special treatment,” and then I decided no one cared about my being a TBI victim. I’m such a fan of irony…
Even when I was engaged and planned to marry Yankee…I STILL thought of an old boyfriend in particular–A LOT. But, it was not because I was missing the old boyfriend; rather, I was missing my former self–ME.
The following song reminded me of the boyfriend previously mentioned. The song was released in 2011…eight years later, I was still missing the “old me.” THIS is how I thought it would be if (hopefully WHEN) we saw one another again…I had yet to become cognizant of the fact that it was not HIM I was missing so badly, rather, it was the person I was when I loved him.
The song below, brings to mind a KID I had a short romance with…I would sometimes think of him, only because he claimed that this was “his” song. After listening to the words again…it reminds me of the man I love, and what he has more or less said to me…
The song in the video below, made me think of a more recent BOY (even if his age claims he is a man) I dated…
This one reminds me of my current relationship…only, I am the one who got the man. 🙂 And, I am happy to say that I don’t think of my former relationships…it is like, I’ll see something or hear something that reminds me of a former flame, but instead of the thought of him taking over my mind…it passes through my brain quickly. I usually look at my lovely man and tell him how absolutely gorgeous he is/how happy I am that he is in my life.