Category: CKJ
Friends?
Friends;
That is what he said.
I mistakenly took it as the end.
My heart had been alone for so long;
I unwillingly decided to give in.
By taking another’s advice;
I scared him.
I have now accepted that the probable end is a positive one.
I would like to honestly be your friend.
Why?
Because I truly want to feel that my wrong-doings are resolved;
I choose to trust what my spiritual advisor envisions.
It is seen that you are NOT the man with whom I should continue to be involved;
according to the views, the ways you behave are not completely your decisions.
By no means, does that allow your actions to be absolved;
instead, it is my feelings that are in need of revision.
The happiness we were starting to share was becoming expected;
frightened, I needed space for my head/heart to gather cognition.
Quickly, my feelings were accepted;
I listened to my internal decision.
Sharing that with you, caused me to be rejected;
regardless of what you said, I still have my suspicions.
However, circumstances seen are not a given;
my belief is correct, the future is able to be written.
Acceptance
When I am happy deep inside of myself; I want to go out and play the part.
Similarly, when I am conflicted within my core; my creativity flows.
I don’t write when there isn’t anything plaguing my brain…my feelings…my heart.
Maybe this is why I seek out the most complications; to fuel my creative productivity.
All artists are melancholy, that fact is well known; when sad or mad, the expression glows.
If I am happy, I desperately try to seek out my beautiful creative spirit for activity.
As of late, that is why my writing prospects seemed dim;
To write well, I need to feel jaded—instead of elated.
Even if I have not felt this strongly for another since my absolute best friend; I refuse to allow this man’s lack of action to make me feel so grim.
I’m not crazy…
Maybe I am a masochist;
the fear of losing you is a sort of catalyst.
Only then do I begin to admit how I feel
to myself; I trust that it is real.
The pleasure of the pain;
is why I feel like I can write again.
Protected: a letter to you
If I never see your face again, I (DO) mind…
When picturing you,
I should not care what others see in my heart.
Instead, I should choose to see my view.
Moments before we met;
at me, you flashed that irresistible smile.
It was so genuine that I don’t believe I can ever forget.
This may seem as if I am
feeling too much for you far too soon.
It is rather scary because, for me; you already seem to be the right man.
1:12
Adam-“I’m lost, I can’t tell where you end and I begin.”
Rihana-“And it makes you burn to learn that I’m with another man.
Adam–“I wonder, if he’s half the lover that I am.”
