OCTOBER 21 2013
I swear there are friendly, albeit mischievous, spirits who live in our home. Or maybe even visit from time to time. I have SEVERAL reasons to believe this and the following incident is yet another one.
My “pre-engagement ring” is too large on my finger, despite having it re-sized. When my hands are cold (like now), the ring tends to turn all directions on my finger. This was beginning to annoy me, so I took it, and the other ring that I keep on my right hand (with a PURPLE stone) off. I carefully placed both rings on the Lazy Susan on top of our dining room table and continued to surf the web via my laptop as I sat at the table.
I got up and walked into our living room a couple of times, to check on my 3 loves as they all lay on the (horrible, uncomfortable, UGLY) giant beanbag as they were watching college basketball. I decided that I should put my “pre-engagement” ring back on my finger. When I looked atop the Lazy Susan, the lovely ring was not there; only the one with the purple stone.
I looked all around my seat on the floor, on the table, underneath things…and still did not see it. I walked into the living room a couple more times, investigating places I may have laid it. I scanned the kitchen thoroughly; as I had given up, and decided to wake James to alert him of what had happened (thinking he may be able to help me figure out what I could have done with the ring); I walked into the living room, and he was “resting his eyes,” so I decided to wait before telling him–I did not see the point in waking him because the ring could only be in the kitchen, and maybe even the living room.
I walked back to my spot at the kitchen table, and still could not find my ring. I concluded that I should look again in a few minutes, because I tend to overlook things now when I put pressure on myself to find them. My purple stoned ring was still sitting atop the Lazy Susan, when I suddenly saw a diamond sparkling right in front of me!
I am positive that I did not overlook the ring sitting directly in my field of vision, and within my reach. The friendly spirit played a joke on me. I believe this. I have had several encounters and witnesses to prove that my belief in a spirit visiting our home is valid.
James received a NERF football in the mail today (he told me it was part of his birthday gift from me. I have learned to not buy him anything that isn’t “on the list.” He reminds me of Rachel Green [FRIENDS] that way. I have learned to “stick to the list” since he and I have been together. James isn’t any fun; he assumes that I want to know what it is that I’m receiving as a gift, even if I’ve told him that I prefer to receive a surprise gift). The football is one that glows when it is switched “on.” Tonight, he and I tossed the football around while in the back yard.
I am such a girl. I flinched each time James threw the ball perfectly to me. I moved when I should have stayed stationary… I preferred to just chase after the ball as opposed to catching it. Geez. SUCH A GIRL!
I took the video showcased below; to display a wee bit of the odd behaviours that Mr. Whiskey and Princess Coco are showing. Now, everyone who knows me well, is aware of my being non-religious; that being said, I am spiritual.
So…I have explained this odd behaviour of Mr. Whiskey’s to James; he simply allows it to be heard, yet Jamie does not “get” what I am saying. Mr. Whiskey often behaves like this, but not too often for me to worry. He typically does it during the day; while James is at work, and I am doing my housework.
Most times, I am in the kitchen or laundry room when Mr. Whiskey acts like this. “This” refers to Whiskey following me around (more so than normally); it’s as if he is trying to make certain that I am safe. He stays RIGHT AGAINST ME (no exaggeration).
He will not let me stray from his field of vision; also, he is more vocal during these times. It is as if Whiskey is trying to tell me something. He looks at me, and he barks until I go see whatever / wherever something that isn’t “right” is. I comply with his wishes; but, never good enough for his satisfaction, for he refused to halt his erratic behaviour. Also, his barking is a little different in tone than it is other times.
I will follow him to the adjacent room, where Whiskey will look at me with a “MOM…do you not see that/hear that?” It is as if he is trying to make me aware of something. I’ve come to the conclusion, that Mr. Whiskey is seeing/hearing something–more aptly, SOMEONE. So, I’ve talked to who I KNOW it to be for several months, now.
She has yet to respond to me in a way that I will recognize easily. I often say to her, “Hello, Dot (Jamie’s mother who passed away in 2003)….” as I explain what is that I am doing. I will explain that I love her home, and do not wish to make any differences that will cause her to feel as if I am “taking over” and “trying to make Jamie forget her.”
When I spoke to HUD about this several weeks ago; I also shared with him the occurrence that caused me to believe it is Dot. I was cleaning out the bottom of the pantry in our kitchen; of course, sitting on the kitchen tile as I was doing such. Mr. Whiskey, of course, was nearby. He began walking and sitting closer to me, as I was sitting in the floor.
Whiskey started quietly barking/growling in the direction of where the main entrance into the kitchen is. I did not think anything of it; assuming that he had heard something outdoors. The barking became more frequent and louder; along with the growling being more intense. Of course, I was a little frightened…but, I continued to do what I had started, and try to get our pantry cleaned out.
Then, Whiskey started getting far more serious with his barking. He had his gaze LOCKED in the direction of the main entryway to the kitchen. He began sidling up against me (as if he were protecting me), and kept lowly growling and barking loudly. Having done this a few times prior; I quickly recognized that it was not anything negative at which Whiskey was barking, but he did not understand it.
I softly explained to Whiskey that it was “okay” and that who he was barking at is Jamie’s mom, Dot. I explained that she was probably wanting to make sure t I was not doing anything wrong or that she was not comfortable with; after all, we were in HER kitchen. I told Mr. Whiskey that she had every right to be here, and she was not going to hurt him. I even said a few things to her aloud. I thanked her for allowing me to use her kitchen and call it my own. I told her how grateful I was for all of her kitchen tools/gadgets. This is when Whiskey started to accept the presence that he sensed–after I spoke, and wasn’t afraid of it.
When I told him; James seemed to believe me; but I think it was more because he was afraid of being shamed into thinking I am silly. I asked James if he ever felt his Mom; and he strongly denied it. However, I have felt her…and I had not ever met her before she passed. But, a woman can sense when another woman is in her home; making changes to it.
I’m not sure when that was whhen I felt her so strongly…but, I believe that she visited again, earlier today. It was brief…but, Whiskey is still refusing to leave my lap. It has been well over one hour…
I’ve taken video of how Mr. Whiskey behaved and in this clip The Princess is acting out of sorts, too…
I am far too sensitive. I “read” too much into little things, or the lack thereof. Perhaps, females are catty and my previous post was prudent, after all.
Which is why I have always gotten along so much better with males. When I shared my feelings with HUD about why I think the majority of the girl friends/wives of his guy friends hate me; HUD told me something akin to, “don’t worry about it, baby,”
…and then proceeded to explain why he did not want to hear it; continually saying, “don’t allow that negative energy to make you feel bad” (or something like that). It’s a refreshing thing sometimes when I am reminded of his beautiful outlook on life; albeit, many times, after I have expressed how I feel about something such as this, he reminds me that he does not care about the outside world.
When I gripe about how something (in this case, females, treat me as if I am a person with some sort of contagious disease) upsets me, something “trivial,” that is, HUD expresses that all that concerns him, is the world he shares with me and the pups. That makes me feel special. I am his number one priority…after the priority he has to himself, of course. My happiness is what he strives to obtain. Still, it unnerves me when he is so indifferent about the things that are causing me to feel negatively. I know he cares about me and how I feel; it is infuriating to me when he deems the feeling(s) I have as one(s) that are able to be forgotten.
As I was saying, when I shared my feelings with HUD about how the majority of the females in his guy friends life treated me when we were spending time with a group of them last night; HUD dismissed it and told me that I should not allow the negative energy that they let out to affect me. Honestly, I am not at all interested in being accepted into their “club.” Meaning, I do not want to be a typical female (like the females of this group of whom I speak are your ‘TYPICAL’ females).
I feel as if I am shunned…it has always been this way with me and women. I’ve always had male friends because of this. HUD told me that I have always had guy friends because I am hot and the females are just jealous. THAT did not help me. At all. True, the majority of males who I have befriended, begin the friendship with me and they have different motives. BUT NOT ME! My motives are of the most pure and innocent intent.
I have a select few male friends who I ever had any romantic interest in; and the ones I did have romantic interest in, are happily committed to another person. I am happily committed to sharing my life with HUD; therefore I have not any sort of romantic/flirting interest with any other!
I lost a great deal of self-confidence when I was recovering from the TBI. It is pretty much returned…until I’m around catty females. I mean, before, I was able to just take the attitudes with a grain of salt, and not allow it to affect me in any way. I would actually go out of my way to be nice to the female(s)…but, now that I am back to being “me” and I don’t allow my lack of self-confidence to show too much; for the most part, I am finding that females simply dislike me.
So, perhaps, it is due to how I like myself…and I don’t care if others like me (at least I make it appear that way). I used to believe that women did not like me, because I was flirty with their man. I would not aim to flirt, but I accepted that my natural charm seemed flirty to them. I’ve come to the conclusion, that women just don’t like me.
Last night, while hanging out with friends of HUD’s; three other women were present. About six males were there, three of whom are in a relationship/marriage three other women who were also there, and one other male who is engaged to a female who was not present. We will call that guy, ‘Stallone.’
Stallone’s fiancée and I are cool. She is very accepting of me; always is the first to go for a hug when we see the other. She is very REAL; I met her in person almost one year ago, and she added me on ‘Facebook’ the day after .
Stallone seemed to not want to associate with me…I’m guessing because his best friend’s wife has expressed her negative feelings about me. The first time I met Stallone; he was super friendly with me, and he always is when his fiancée is present. Stallone’s best friend is ‘Damien.’ Even Damien did not want to talk to me; he was keeping his distance. Damien and Stallone, both were incredibly friendly and chatty with me the first night I met the two men.
I spent all of last night, sitting next to Faye, and chatting with her. The other two women who were present, sat in chairs across the porch from Faye and me. Those women did not talk to us…I’m not saying that they ignored us; we 4 just did not associate much. It wasn’t purposeful, we four women just didn’t have anything to talk about last night; so we each chatted exclusively with the woman who we were originally sitting.
The person’s house we were at last night (‘Faye’), is always incredibly “real” with me…she is friendly, and always happy to see me. She told me that she loved me before HUD and I left to go home last night. Faye said that I should come visit her during the day (while our other half’s are at work) sometime.
HUD and I were the last to leave for the evening; neither of the women who left said ‘good bye’ to me, but HUD was given a good bye. Faye hugged both HUD and me, inviting the two of us to come back over to see her and her husband. I am guessing that the reason Damien’s wife, “Victoria,” does not talk to me and gives me the ‘woman’s cold shoulder’ is because “Sherri’s” daughter hates me. Therefore, Sherri, is not at all accepting of me any longer. Although, I am not at all worried about Sherri failing to say goodbye; she was consoling her husband…whose mother had just been buried.
HUD tells me that if Sherri’s daughter has a problem with you…you can understand why Sherri isn’t as nice to you.” No. No, I cannot…HUD makes excuses for Sherri because they have a long friendship, and she has been a good friend to him for years (I understand, and am not aiming to make HUD choose “sides”). I do not tell HUD how I feel in an attempt to make him mad at Sherri. If Sherri’s daughter has an immature problem with me, because she is a teenager, I do not excuse Sherri for behaving the way she does with me now. We are adults; if Sherri dislikes me, she needs to talk to me about it–not use her daughter’s teenage woes as a passive-aggressive way to make me feel like an outcast!
But, I suppose I should speak to Sherri as opposed to writing in my blog. I haven’t a problem with talking to Sherri about my feelings…but, I do not wish to anger HUD. I know how much she means to him, and I do not ever want to try to make him choose…so, I decide to type my feelings out, instead of talking about them.
I just need to vent. I will probably be asked not to blog about this IF HUD does, in fact, read my blog. I have to get my feelings out. Else, I will hold them in, and express them in other ways…NEGATIVE ways.
oh, I am enlightened because I find that no matter what I do…the majority of women hate me. I could care less, really. And HUD is wrong about the reason males like me; I am flippin’ cool…and REAL.