Yesterday, when I finally decided to get my butt out of the bed to start my day; it was after 10:00 AM. Gratefully, HUD understands my need for sleep and he does not fault me for it. My brain becomes a lot more TIRED, and less able to handle “simple” tasks in the same manner most other folks brains’ are. When I am mentally tired; it causes me to become physically tired…SLEEP is the only way for me to handle many everyday tasks.
So, after I got out of bed around 10AM; I went to the restroom,l. Afterwards, I immediately let the Princess and Mr. Whiskey outside of the back door, so that they could do their business first thing in the morning.
It was a little chilly outside, so I stood in the kitchen and watched the pups for a moment before going to get a ‘Greenie’ out of the container farthest from the door. The screen door had yet to firmly close, so when the pups were finished; they both trotted inside and looked at me with pleading eyes, as if to say, “We went to potty outside, Mommy; can we have our ‘Greenie,’ now?
Prepared for this moment, I had already taken two treats from the jar and hid them in my hands. Normally, I will pet the baby’s and commend them on a job well done before giving them their morning treat. This Tuesday morning, I failed to do that. Instead of patting their little heads and rubbing their chests prior to giving them the thing they look forward to most every morning; I barely looked at either of them, and I quickly patted them on the head as I gave them a morning treat.
Mr. Whiskey always takes his treats to the adjacent room and eats the treat on the rug in front of the door that leads to the basement; the Princess Coco goes the opposite direction, and enjoys her treat on their “puppy bed” in the family dining room. I continued doing whatever it was that I was doing (I really do not recall what that was…read on, and you will understand that my feelings do not allow me to be able to recall such trivial things); I heard the pups gnawing on their treats…then, I realized how distant I had been with my baby’s, and decided I should show the two of them love.
I proceeded to call for Princess Coco and Mr. Whiskey…Coco appeared from the puppy bed in the kitchen, with her tail wagging. I happily accepted her into my arms rubbed her precious little head, continuing to pet the rest of her body. I called for her brother; normally, I can hear when one of the dogs is moving because the tags attached to their collars jingle. HUD and I had taken off their collars, because Mr. Whiskey’s skin at the base of his neck is seemingly becoming agitated with the rubber (glow-in-the-dark) piece that I have covering his ID tag. So, we decided to take off both of the pups collar’s to test this theory.
That beautiful Tuesday morning, I was annoyed with myself for failing to “re-dress” Coco and Whiskey before releasing them from the inside of the house so they could go potty. I walked through our home and called for Whiskey; Coco would simply look at me with pure innocence in her eyes/on her face. I did not hear any thing that typically alerts me to Whiskey’s whereabouts…so, I re-traced my steps, and called for him again.
Still, nothing.
The Princess was following me around, and I would show her by that I adore her by petting her head and vocalizing that I loved her. I continued to call for Mr. Whiskey, to no avail! This is when I started getting more serious with my tone of voice; he usually responds almost instantaneously if I make my tone sound more harsh than it already does due to my speech impediment. I even asked Coco where her brother was…
I then began to doubt myself…I wondered if I had let Whiskey back go outside, but completely forgot about doing so when I closed the doors. Coco kept looking up at me, because she was able to sense that something was wrong. I walked through our house, again…only this time, I left the doors open to all of the rooms where the doors were originally closed. I thought that maybe Mr. Whiskey had wandered into one of the rooms; but what was mind-boggling is that he did not exit a room when I called for him. He always does that or he is very good about at least making some sort of racket to let me know where he is.
By this time (approximately 7 minutes), I was beginning to worry…I quickly talked myself out of that worrisome thought process, and realized that Whiskey was just hiding somewhere, and that I would find him soon. Princess Coco was at my feet, looking at me, and wagging her tail happily. I thought, “Okay, if Coco isn’t worried…maybe I should not be either.” I thought that because dogs have special senses. If something were wrong with Whiskey, I had no doubt that Coco would sense it.
I walked outside onto our back deck, and called for Whiskey. He did not come, so as I went into the house; I left the screen door ajar so he would be able to come back inside when he was ready. From the back of the house, I continued to walk toward the front of our home, and onto our front porch where I continued calling for Whiskey. I still received absolutely no sign of his whereabouts…I began to worry again.
Walking back outside on the back deck, Princess Coco followed me…I stood outside on our deck and called for Whiskey. Coco was trying to leave the back deck and go out into the yard…I promptly told her to “get into the house” because I could not be sans TWO baby’s! My quest to locate Mr. Whiskey continued as I more thoroughly searched the nooks and crannies of the inside of our home. I even started looking in closets and beneath beds.
As I was making my journey through the house, I kept beating myself up for losing him. I began thinking about how my Mom and Jeff were going to be disappointed that I lost my son by “misplacing” him. I was considering our friend, Monica’s take on the ordeal, and how she would be sympathetic, my thoughts roamed to my friends, Lori, Justin, Dustin, and Desi and how I was certain they would forgive my lack of brain, too.
Then the thought of my best friend in high school, Kristina, popped into my head because “Please forgive my lack of brain” is something that Winnie-The-Pooh says…I started thinking of the stupid doctors releasing me and how idiotic they would feel because I HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE; I should not be entrusted to the care of pets…OR humans, for that matter.
I thought of how HUD would not understand the magnitude of my being able to care for another living thing, but he would try his best to comfort me as opposed to getting angry with me. I then began to wish that he loved Whiskey the way he loves Coco; maybe then he would understand my probability of losing my mind if Mr. Whiskey were to disappear. I finally decided to let HUD know that I had lost our son, AGAIN. I attempted to call him, but because he was at work, the line was busy.
All of these thoughts are racing through my (injured) brain, as I am systematically moving from the inside of our home, to the back porch, to the front porch…and I am PLEADING with Whiskey to “please come home now!” I kept picking up Princess Coco and loving her as she continually tried to go outside and to the right of the exit off of our back deck. I kept forcing her to go back indoors, and she would look at me with a “but…MOM” gaze.
I started thinking of how distraught Coco would be when she realized her brother was missing. Being the negative person I am, I began to prepare myself for dealing with losing her, too…because she would definitely die (it is common with animals as well as people) if Whiskey were ever gone. This is when I text HUD that I had lost Whiskey…again. I sent him a text at 10:16…”I lost Whiskey.” Five minutes later, HUD sent me a question mark.
Finally, I decided that Mr. Whiskey may hear me jingle the treats in their treat container, and perhaps THAT would cause his return. So, I picked up one of the containers that has treats in it, and walked out onto our back deck. I’m pretty sure I made Coco stay inside, and as I retreated the dining room and began walking on the back deck; I was shaking the container of treats in hopes that Mr. Whiskey would hear it and come running.
No sooner than I had walked to the end of the deck, and about to step onto the stairs…I turned my head to the right, and I saw Whiskey running toward me with a “smile” on his face and his tongue hanging out as he was wagging his tail.
My heart suddenly felt so much lighter and the knot in my stomach had that was clenched, finally unraveled.
What felt like 45 minutes, was probably 15 minutes…but, I responded to HUD’s text message, 3 minutes after he sent me a text with a “?;”saying that Whiskey FINALLY came home. HUD called me and I explained the whole ordeal…and how scared I was. I did not know what I expected him to do from an hour away when I sent him the initial text…but I said I felt that he deserved to know I had lost our son-AGAIN.
Princess Coco had been TRYING to tell me where her brother was when she was trying to walk off of the deck and to the right…but, I would not “listen;” instead I kept instructing Coco to get back indoors. I am a wonderful Mommy to my ‘kids’… that is, when I do not lose them.
On my mind (again?) 