I am uncertain if it is because of my TBI or if it is just my “built-in” laziness for thinking of doing something…and rarely achieving that goal sooner than later. I have thought of writing in this ‘blog;’ but I don’t ever find the time. I blame it on being I am a house”wife”…and our “children” (pups) need my attention…I blame the not finding time to write on having to cook dinner, and do laundry…it seems to me that I always wish to write more when I am writing solely for my eyes/comprehension. I get a bit “gun-shy” when I KNOW for a fact that my words are being read.
Even if people in my every day life are telling me that “I’ve been reading your blog” … people from my 2nd home country of England are informing my love that they are reading my blog … random strangers are “liking” the blog on FB … random folks are following the blog and random people are getting E-mail updates. It is this part of being a writer that scares me the most. As I have said MANY times before; when I write…it is what I am feeling; and I have always been very guarded with sharing my emotions…for fear of being hurt.
My partner in life (thank you for allowing me to feel validated in saying that, “Mike”) has helped me to realize that I can share how I feel and what I think…I don’t have to worry about anyone’s opinions. I have been trying for almost 20 years to do this; “this,” being that I have been trying to feel as if I can write…and have others read my work for such a long time.
Publishing my poetry online (and having 2 of the poems published in a book); led to my releasing the fears mentioned before. I am incredibly fearful of sharing my thoughts / feelings. For those who know me, the fact that I said that is really surprising; I have always been vocal about what I think.
I tried to use ‘prompts’ to write fictional pieces, and found that I was always incorporating a bit of truth into the works. I am attending a seminar this Saturday; at the seminar, I hope that the local blogger, now turned business woman, is able to fuel my NEED to settle on a particular way of writing.
I am better at writing “journal-esque” types…but, I have found that I can write fiction. I just need more practice with that…the few short(!) stories I have written are under the heading “Will these matches turn to kindling?”I chose that title because I would get my prompts for writing from a book entitled “The Writer’s Book of Matches: 1001 Prompts To Ignite Your Fiction.” Even with those prompts, I would change a key element in the prompt…to sort of make it “my own.”
I appreciate you for sticking with me…I AM a writer. I accepted that a few years ago when I was going to a University to get a degree in Communications with an emphasis of Broadcasting. Even my instructors then told me I need to be a writer… Family/friends/high school teachers/junior college teachers/instructors at a University (one who actually wrote several pieces for TIME magazine) all have believed that I should use the talent.
Okay, I am going to try…please bear with me; as I’ve mentioned earlier, I tend to ‘shut down’ when I realize people are reading my work. WISH ME LUCK!