November 24, 2000

Sometimes I wonder

Are they right?

Is the hand I hold

the one that holds me down?

They don’t know you.

Do I really know me?

I see forever with you,

But I’m not sure of the forever I once dreamed of.

Could it be jealousy

ignorance

or pure honesty

Why do I care

I’m afraid that a small part <of me> agrees.

Oh God, what have I done?

What have I said?

I think I’m just scared.

They all say they know me

“Well I may not go to (H)eaven,

but I sure hope you go to Hell.”

Leave me alone.

Let me live MY life.

—-

This is a poem I began and never finished…it is written on the back of the paper that the poem above is written on.

I don’t live for you

I don’t tiptoe for you

I don’t try to make you happy

not doing what I want

I don’t try to

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