LOOKING IN

This is the first poem I wrote; I wrote it on a typewriter. It doesn’t have a date; but I can envision myself typing it and where I was. I would say that this was written in 1996 or 1997 (I was 16 or 17 years old). Of course, that is merely a guess…it is transcribed here EXACTLY how I have it typed on paper; hence the punctuation errors and digressions. I am able to recite this poem from memory; word for word, line for line, and I have been able to since it was written.

LOOKING IN

You look at me and see the girl

Who lives inside the golden world

But don’t believe

That’s all there is to see

You’ll never know the real me.

 

She smiles through a thousand tears

And harbors adolescent fears,

She dreams of all that she can never be

She wades in insecurity

And hides herself inside of me.

 

Don’t say she takes it all for granted

I’m well aware of all I have

Don’t think that I am disenchanted

Please Understand.

 

It seems as though I’ve always been

Somebody outside lookingin (sic)

Well here I am for all of them to bleed

But they can’t take my heart from me

And they can’t bring me to my knees

They’ll never know the real me.

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