So, I now understand what I was confused about in my previous entry. I wish people would stop thinking that I am “back to normal” completely (despite my assertions). I forget things easily…and when I am reminded, it sometimes takes a few DAYS for the full memory to return. Oftentimes, I remember what I thought about and I believe that thought is in fact the real memory. I know I always ask that people try to forget that I have a brain injury…but unfortunately, they should not. The injury will affect me and the things I do/say for the remainder of my life.
As I stated in a prior post, I will have days, sometimes even weeks, where it is almost impossible (aside from the way my voice sounds and my balance issues) to determine that I have ever had anything happen that stole the “normal” card right out from under my nose. Other times, I cannot go even 30 minutes of a day without having the constant reminder of the damage my head/brain sustained almost 9 years ago.
If I am unable to remember something in particular…it is not that I did not care to remember it, it is because my memory recall is delayed. I wish people would at least TRY to understand that before thinking that I believe I am always in the right.
Far too often, the thoughts in my head are memories…it is as if I believe that it TRULY happened. TBI sucks. I realized only a few hours ago while I was showering, that I did, in fact, behave like a jerk. I hope I can be forgiven. It truly is not something I can easily help…I must actively change this about me, but it is VERY cumbersome and maybe even a “false dream” because the TBI has changed me forever!