6.14.00

I know why I didn’t want to get close to you. I’m getting used to having you beside me; talking everyday and thinking of us as a couple. It’s been 2 days since we’ve spoken and I’m going crazy. This is why I didn’t want to start feeling serious about our relationship. I start getting paranoid if you don’t call or e-mail me. You’ve spoiled me! Made me become accustomed to hearing your voice at least twice a day! This is ridiculous, I know. I shouldn’t be analyzing your (our) every move, but I’m falling for you…something I promised myself that I would try not to do. You make it so hard! I always wondered what it would be like if we were together. How it would feel to hold your hand. How it would feel to have your <luscious> lips mesh with mine; to look into your <gorgeous> eyes and know that you were experiencing the same roller-coaster ride of emotion that I felt. I don’t know what love is, but I keep thinking that I feel it for you. I wonder how it would be to have you show me. I’ve never tried so hard to make something work, and I want this so badly. I say that I’m not ready for a serious relationship, but truthfully when I think of you, of us, it’s all I consider. I don’t want this to be some sort of fling that two friends have out of curiosity. I want to work on being together. I don’t want to look at you as ‘Pooky’ anymore. In my mind ‘Pooky’ and Chris are two totally different people. I wonder if I’ve scared you or if I’ve disappointed you. Maybe you had different expectations of how it would be to be w/ me.