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Day: October 12, 2012

in my head

If I do not care…

12 Oct 201214 Oct 2012
then why do I worry? A fairly recent digression occurred between me and another person is one that has baffled me. I haven’t any real connection to this person, so…
Jerry

(a letter for my big brother, Jerry)

12 Oct 20126 Jun 2021
Jerry, I’m so sorry. Im sorry I thought you would grow out of your frustration. Im sorry I thought you would learn better coping skills. Im sorry that I was…
in my head

jerry

12 Oct 201227 Mar 2013
my grief color Grey – b/c I’m unsure; mixed up Red – b/c I’m pissed Blue – b/c I’m regretful Yellow – b/c it (pain) is blinding & bright.
in my head
12 Oct 2012
What other people say to me about grief and mourning It’s hard, but you’ll move on.   You’ll never really get over it.   I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Jerry
12 Oct 2012
p 35 my ritual for Jerry We will be outside, sun shining, standing close. Very few people will attend, only b/c you feel self conscious, not b/c you are not…
Jerry
12 Oct 201212 Oct 2012
after confusing, scary, guilty, angry, continuous, questioning, numb, cold, thoughtful, stinging, achy(sic), regretful   before
Jerry
12 Oct 2012
death is the unknown. the questioning. death is bitter cold. numbing pain. frightening visions and inescapable thoughts. life’s temperature is hot.
Jerry
12 Oct 2012
I could have missed the PAIN, But I’d have (had to) miss the dance 07.23.02 --But grief is about living. --Grief involves letting go of someone who has died, but…
Jerry

I survive. I grieve. I love.

12 Oct 201225 Oct 2012
Jerry I guess you finally stopped believing Any hope would ever find you. (‘Tony’’ – Patti Griffin)
feelings from long ago...

…no date…(but it was in the 00’s)

12 Oct 201228 Apr 2013
I expect too much, my expectations are high. my standards are too high. I won’t try to work for something. I just expet (sic) things to happen. I trust no…

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