then why do I worry? A fairly recent digression occurred between me and another person is one that has baffled me. I haven’t any real connection to this person, so why do I care that I have been suddenly put into the “trash” bin of that individual’s contacts? Okay, the digression that occurred was afterContinue reading “If I do not care…”
Daily Archives: October 12, 2012
(a letter for my big brother, Jerry)
Jerry, I’m so sorry. Im sorry I thought you would grow out of your frustration. Im sorry I thought you would learn better coping skills. Im sorry that I was frightened and unsure of how to react when you were in that home. Im sorry I ever let our bond be “forgotten” by distance, time,Continue reading “(a letter for my big brother, Jerry)”
jerry
my grief color Grey – b/c I’m unsure; mixed up Red – b/c I’m pissed Blue – b/c I’m regretful Yellow – b/c it (pain) is blinding & bright.
What other people say to me about grief and mourning It’s hard, but you’ll move on. You’ll never really get over it. I’m sorry. Are you okay?
p 35 my ritual for Jerry We will be outside, sun shining, standing close. Very few people will attend, only b/c you feel self conscious, not b/c you are not loved. We connected b/c we understood one another. We needed each other. We would laugh @ breakfast, giggle @ bedtime. Watch “Robin Hood: Men InContinue reading
after confusing, scary, guilty, angry, continuous, questioning, numb, cold, thoughtful, stinging, achy(sic), regretful before
death is the unknown. the questioning. death is bitter cold. numbing pain. frightening visions and inescapable thoughts. life’s temperature is hot.
I could have missed the PAIN, But I’d have (had to) miss the dance 07.23.02 –But grief is about living. –Grief involves letting go of someone who has died, but it’s also about holding on and recognizing life, especially your own. (page 9) death is… sunny skies interrupted by clouds of darkness, harsh rain, clearingContinue reading
I survive. I grieve. I love.
Jerry I guess you finally stopped believing Any hope would ever find you. (‘Tony’’ – Patti Griffin)
…no date…(but it was in the 00’s)
I expect too much, my expectations are high. my standards are too high. I won’t try to work for something. I just expet (sic) things to happen. I trust no one, yet I betray others trust in me. I immediately assume all decisions are b/c of me. I jump to conclusions. I over analyze everyContinue reading “…no date…(but it was in the 00’s)”
