5/14/00 4Pooky

you’re scared of falling, fearful of hurting, are you really in so deep? your expectations of me probably won’t turn out to be the girl that you will eventually see. She has an evilness about her, a coldness inside her, and an emptyness (sic) within. The hurt that burdens her soul will be the reason she takes your heart in her hands and twists and twists until it finally breaks. She’s angry and resentful. Completely vulnerable and scared to trust. She will bury herself deep inside your soul only to escape without your knowledge. All that will be left are her imprints on your heart, the memories in your mind and her silhouette behind your eyes. Her intentions are good, but isn’t that always the case? She’s horrified of the word ‘love,’ not knowing if she’s ever been or if she will ever learn how. Her presense (sic) will never be far from your thoughts as she slowly fades away into her own private place. She has to leave before you have the chance to abandon her.

I want to be in love. Can I ever fall so deep? Give myself wholly and only to you, will I ever be able to? Hold me. Teach me. Be patient with my indecisiveness. Love me, console me. Lose yourself in my eyes, my touch, our song. Put me together, because I’ve fallen completely apart. Who am I? Will you help me decide? Don’t pressure me; please fall for me. No, don’t. I’ll only hurt you; it’s all I know to do. I don’t know how to explain my feelings for you.

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