jus’ thinkin…

’bout school…I am frightened to graduate college. School has been my career for so long…

’bout friends…should it surprise me that EVERYONE has matured? Here I am, retarded (the true definition of the word is meant AND not the “negative” connotation that is normally associated with the word) in what I have achieved, comparatively.

’bout home…the south is my home. I will need to venture out again in order to make something of myself and only then should I live back in Bama.

’bout relationships (of all kinds)…friendships are null and void; romance is null and void; familial relationships are showing promise again; professional relationships are semi-positive.

I think I am lonely. I want friends. Friends to hang out with. But I cannot do that until I graduate college (December 17, 2012), because as mentioned in a prior post; I MUST concentrate on one thing at a time.

4 thoughts on “jus’ thinkin…

  1. And you need to get to the point that alone is OK. Until you are happy with just you, no one else is going to make you any happier. I had to reach that point in my late 20’s when I was in an entry-level job making crap money, no girlfriend, and all my “friends” were people 10 years younger than me. I had to become happy just to stay at home and watch TV rather than force myself to go out and have a worse time trying to be happy. It’s hard – but the reward is that you are seen by others as complete by yourself and not trying to complete yourself with someone else. I really want to see you happy again.

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  2. Thank you, Perry…YOU are the one who first planted the seed and it grew…and 8 years later, here it is! Now, I had many blogs during the time we worked together (LOL), but this site, I am going to keep it up because I paid for this domain name!

    In reply to your initial comment, it frustrates me because before my head injury, I was a “he-man woman hater;” meaning that I needed no one to make me feel complete. I was happy in my own skin. I was known for saying the phrase that you used “Until you are happy with you(rself, you will never truly be happy. Happiness comes from inside yourself, you cannot give someone the power to decide if you are happy).” I am actively trying to think that way again. I was a much happier person and someone that people wanted to be around…

    It is taking a heckuva lot for me to accept that I am not the exact same person I was, but I am quite possibly better/stronger…I need to realize this within myself. I am trying to get the girl back who was independent and feisty, determined and loving…but only when a friend said something to me on FB and in my reply to him did it hit me; I cannot get the GIRL back…I am a woman now. Which has me contemplating that song, “Girl, you’ll be a woman soon” and I can not recall who it is that sings that song. I am also too lazy to ‘Google’ it…LOL

    Thank you for being such a positive influence in my life since I have known you (EIGHT YEARS, now)!

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