I fall out of love long before the proper ending of the relationship. I find it easier to deal with the finalization of things internally. But, I refuse to give up easily. With relationships of any kind, I will say FLAT OUT what we both need to change. It is always met with understanding and the willingness to change with me.
The other person works on it for a short period and I work on it for longer…thinking (and voicing) that the other person is going to realize that they are not keeping up their end of the deal. I stick in the relationship until it has taken the last, crackling, smokers-cough breath and almost always, it is me who lets the other person know that they are faltering on what they agreed to do for our relationship. So, I am the one to finally and often regretfully end things.
Why is it that we (“we” being women, especially ones from the south) are afraid to be happy? Sure, we tell others we are happy and we may even put on a “game face.” But inside, there is always something missing.
The feeling of failure is a proponent of the decision. We may feel as if we failed at a relationship because the other person did not do their part. Relationships of any kind are between two people (yes, you can have a relationship with yourself–but that is not truly a relationship and it is far too complicated for me to explain here). So, women (especially southern women) are more likely to stay in a relationship even if it is one that brings them complete unhappiness. “The pleasure of the pain.” (“Back 2 Good”-Matchbox Twenty)