Isn’t it funny how we never see what is right in front of our face and instead allow self-doubts to make a “home” in our brain? Every person relies on others to give them validation that something is true–even if some people rely on the validation of other people more than others do; we all need to be validated.
It amazes me that our own self-doubts can cause us to see things in the opposite way that they really are. This is mostly true of southern people from the United States. And those people are normally southern women.
People in New England are seen as ‘brash’…people on the west coast are seen as artistically ditzy. I have been to the East and West coast, and I believe that southern women could stand to learn a thing or two from New Englander’s and “surfer types.”
But, I also believe those coasts could stand to learn a lot from the ways of southerners…
I fall out of love long before the proper ending of the relationship. I find it easier to deal with the finalization of things internally. But, I refuse to give up easily. With relationships of any kind, I will say FLAT OUT what we both need to change. It is always met with understanding and the willingness to change with me.
The other person works on it for a short period and I work on it for longer…thinking (and voicing) that the other person is going to realize that they are not keeping up their end of the deal. I stick in the relationship until it has taken the last, crackling, smokers-cough breath and almost always, it is me who lets the other person know that they are faltering on what they agreed to do for our relationship. So, I am the one to finally and often regretfully end things.
Why is it that we (“we” being women, especially ones from the south) are afraid to be happy? Sure, we tell others we are happy and we may even put on a “game face.” But inside, there is always something missing.
The feeling of failure is a proponent of the decision. We may feel as if we failed at a relationship because the other person did not do their part. Relationships of any kind are between two people (yes, you can have a relationship with yourself–but that is not truly a relationship and it is far too complicated for me to explain here). So, women (especially southern women) are more likely to stay in a relationship even if it is one that brings them complete unhappiness. “The pleasure of the pain.” (“Back 2 Good”-Matchbox Twenty)