I have been told for YEARS that I should be a writer. I always wrote at a time when I felt the need to get stuff off of my chest/heart. I never wanted to benefit lucratively from expressing myself. I have only recently accepted that I was meant to write.
Since the accident, I am still very good at writing…and yes, more people have tried to convince me that I should use my skills as a creative writer to make a living. Mom has been so adamantly positive that is what I need to do and many other people (including college teachers/professors) stand by that belief–even now that I have a TBI.
This weekend, a friend from my days in radio (+/- 10 years ago), reiterated the things that people have told me for years. His belief in me has made me truly feel that I am able to do this…we were never GOOD friends, so the fact that he sees that about me means so much. I feel silly because my own mother has had faith in me for YEARS, yet I never truly tried to do anything with my talent.
Now that he has asserted his own belief in my ability to write, I feel confident (I have always felt that Mom and family/friends were perhaps a wee bit prejudice). Reuniting with him after ten years made me realize that I have always admired him, so I respect his opinion and he has a way of making me feel empowered. Yes, I am aware how silly that may seem to you about feeling empowered, but it is the truth.
I believe now what my Mom & my step-dad have been saying about the fact that I should write…truthfully, I don’t think that anything can stop me. Now, it is going to be difficult for me to write blogs because I am such a stickler for grammar/punctuation. But, I am going to try my best…I have far too many people standing behind me and waiting for my first novel. Which reminds me, the dedication page is going to be at least 3 pages long! 🙂
It’s true that once you realize you love someone romantically, a part of your heart will forever be reserved for them. If things do not work in that relationship, it is the part that you are no longer attached to that always loves the person; in essence, it is the small part of your heart that has died. And with that death, a brand new part of your heart is cultivated to grow. And grow it will.
You are no longer attached to the feeling(s) that made you once believe that your life was not at all worth living without the love of some specific person. It is my belief that people allow themselves to be treated in the negative way(s) in which the person sees him/herself internally. It is increasingly difficult for people in the American culture to accept that she/he deserves to be treated with respect. That is why so many relationships are discouraging.
When someone makes you feel as if you deserve only good things and that person backs up the words with actions, why do we tell ourselves that we don’t deserve this and oftentimes run to the painful relationship (not always the romantic sort)? Why is it always easier to believe that negative things are what you deserve in life?
Sure, you may say that you deserve more than what you are receiving in your love life, but do you truly believe what you are saying to those around you? Sometimes, it takes encouraging words of someone who knows you better than you thought to make you “wake up” and recognize that your life has not been determined for you because of particular circumstances in it. Instead, it becomes a new birth for your life.
“When a heart finds another, what’s a cloud more or less in the sky?” – Wolf and Page
While it is true that the the person you are is because of your past as we mature, we are encouraged to move past that. Even if we do “move on” from the way we were perceived to be as teenagers; it seems to me, that the adolescent years of your life truly do make you the person that you become.
Why does the one person that you are asking to work WITH you never believe that you will take negative action, forcing you to prove what you said would happen (especially if they vocally acknowledge but physically refuse to make the effort in order to help make things better)? As children, many are warned that they will be spanked if they do not obey their parents/parental figures. A lot of children refuse to obey, knowing that the parent is simply using a “scare tactic” to make them behave the way that is desired from the other.
Relationships (of any kind) always end up going back to the “high school” mentality when an argument arises. The measure of maturity is how we choose to handle this argument; do you want to go back to “well, you said/did this first” or would you rather adhere to the rational way and admit your own fault in the argument without blaming the other person or something/someone else for your actions (or lack thereof). In life, it is our choice of how to handle things that makes us adults. Another person can not make you feel guilty, it is an emotional mind game and age does not matter; guilt will grow with you.
That is, unless the guilt you feel is unfounded and just a silly teenage game someone plays to force you into feeling shameful for something that you need not feel at fault. The true test of becoming an adult is whether you will play the silly mind/emotional games you did as a child/teenager.
June 2, 2012
Sometimes, good things do come to those who wait. It is possible that the reason for sayings to stay around for long periods of time is because things really never change.
Sure, hairstyles and fashion change only to become “new” again in another 20 or so years. But, people never do change. The same feelings; the same thoughts are pretty much a part of the human psyche.
If someone is used to being treated badly, it is sort of uncomfortable to be treated nicely. So, if we are treated nicely but used to being treated badly, why do we always try to create a problem?
Maybe everyone is egotistical. Psychology is correct; everything in life good or bad exists because of someone’s ego.